Saturday, May 23, 2015

The Job Interview

Lately, I had several job interviews. There are so many things you have to pay attention during interviews. So many pitfalls are just waiting for you to step into. Let me share some sentences you shouldn't use in an interview, or, as a matter of fact, anywhere.

Can you tell us something about yourself:
... I wasn't really a Star Wars guy and I didn't get it at all. But Jar Jar Binks open missa eyes to dis biiig empire.

What is your greatest strength?
I'm a trendsetter. I came up with the term yolo!

 Where do you see yourself in five years?
On a oneway trip to Mars!

What are your hobbies?:
I take nude selfies. I love my new selfie stick. It made so many exciting shoots possible.

What is your biggest weakness?
I came up with the term yolo!

What compensation are you looking for?:
One Hundert Thousand!- is it..too..much? - ten thousand maybe?

Do you have any questions?:
I do. Why did LeBron James leave Cleveland? And why did he come back?
Describe two specific goals you set.
To write a blog post about how to get rid of a repressive dictator, to spell check before publishing, to eliminate the term yolo, and to learn to count

Appropriate outfits show you are a fit for the position 

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Panic Seat

Exactly ten years ago, my wisdom teeth were removed. I could listen to music on earbuds while the procedure. Therefor, I compiled a CD with songs that I liked before I went to the operation. The surgeon injected anesthetics with a big syringe and I lost feelings in my mouth. While the oral surgeon was sawing and I was listening nervously to my music, I was wondering if in the future I will feel anxious when I hear the same music again. In other words, can the removal of teeth act as an aversion therapy? So far, I haven't notice any change.
Even my "panic attack" during the procedure didn't result in aversion. During the complete procedure while I was on the seat, I had to keep my mouth open. Because of that, I was breathing through my mouth. After the first tooth has been removed, a lot of blood flowed through the wound and filled my mouth. I couldn't breath and instinctively I started to panic. The medical staff had to calm me down. After a horrifying moment and after I had focused on breathing through my nose, the procedure could continue again.
After the procedure, I had to show off my wisdom

The next day: After a painful and sleepless night, my cheek was swollen and my mood has reached a low point