After moving back in with my parents I was lately busy with moving out. Moving back to my parents felt weird. I felt like George Costanza from the sitcom Seinfeld, who also had to move back.
When I was younger, my brothers and I were teasing each other by pointing out whenever one of us did something that George also does. One thing that Sina and I did, was to use George's famous return. In one Seinfeld episode George was munching one shrimp after the other. The guy next to him said “The ocean called. They are running out of shrimps!” George came up, more or less immediately, with the return “Well, the jerk store called. They are running out of you!” We used it when ever we couldn't come up with a return. Soon, we left out the second sentence and the default return became “O yeah, the jerk store called!” (or in German “Ach ja, der Idiotenladen hat angerufen!”).
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| It's a pity corner jerk stores go out of business because of big chain jerk stores |
When my brothers were pointing out things I did like George, they saw only minor things. They don't know the one big thing I did like George:
Back when I was in university, I had classes Friday afternoons. One time, I had to present in front of the class. While I was presenting, I told a small joke. I heard one female laughter. I looked around and between all the annoyed faces I saw a beautiful girl laughing. A voice in my head yelled a joyful “
Score!”
After class my colleague Robert, who also attended the class and a third person went to the train station. At the train station Robert and the other guy were deep in a conversation and I was left out, when the beautiful girl from class sat right in front of me. The voice in my head told me: “
Say something funny to her!” I couldn't come up with something funny. The voice in my head said louder “
Say something now.” I still didn't know. The voice in my head became angry: “
Say something – it doesn't have to be funny – say anything!” I said “You are from Brazil, aren't you?” While she was answering, Robert turned his head and joined our conversion. The voice in my head became furious: “
How dare he interferes.” I was glad the frightening voice in my head was mad at Robert and not at me.
The train came and we continued the conversation in the train. We talked about music and than we started to talk about dancing. The girl from Brazil danced since she was 5. She asked me and I said “I don't like to dance and I can't dance.” She said that there is a dance class in the university. I told her that I don't have anyone to go with. Robert said “Maybe she can go with you” pointing at the girl from Brazil and she said “Yes, I would do that”. It turned out Robert was my wing man. I said “Yeah, but I still don't like dancing.” We reached the train station where we all had to separate. While I was leaving the voice in my head asked me “
Did a beautiful girl just asked you to dance with her and you said No?”
There is a Seinfeld episode where George drove a woman home after a date. In front of her apartment she asked him if he wants to come up for a coffee. George said “I don't drink coffee that late. I don't want to stay up all night.” When he drove away he realize what he just did and wanted to kick his own behind. That's how I felt after the train ride.
In hindsight, it was for the best. After all she had a lot of experience in dancing and at that time I had none. I went to the dance class without anyone and danced with a girl who came also without anyone. It turned out she was a skilled dancer and I- well let's put it that way: a clumsy dancer is a big turn off. After class the girl didn't talked to me for months. I had to be half naked in front of her to make her talk to me again… but that's a story for another time.
