The Job Interview

Lately, I had several job interviews. There are so many things you have to pay attention during interviews. So many pitfalls are just waiting for you to step into. Let me share some sentences you shouldn't use in an interview, or, as a matter of fact, anywhere.

Can you tell us something about yourself:

... I wasn't really a Star Wars guy and I didn't get it at all. But Jar Jar Binks open missa eyes to dis biiig empire.

What is your greatest strength?

I'm a trendsetter. I came up with the term yolo!

 Where do you see yourself in five years?

On a oneway trip to Mars!

What are your hobbies?:

I take nude selfies. I love my new selfie stick. It made so many exciting shoots possible.

What is your biggest weakness?

I came up with the term yolo!

What compensation are you looking for?:

One Hundert Thousand!- is it..too..much? - ten thousand maybe?

Do you have any questions?:

I do. Why did LeBron James leave Cleveland? And why did he come back?

Describe two specific goals you set.

To write a blog post about how to get rid of a repressive dictator, to spell check before publishing, to eliminate the term yolo, and to learn to count

Appropriate outfits show you are a fit for the position 

7 Bahais 7 years

For more information visit https://www.bic.org/

Panic Seat

Exactly ten years ago, my wisdom teeth were removed. I could listen to music on earbuds while the procedure. Therefor, I compiled a CD with songs that I liked before I went to the operation. The surgeon injected anesthetics with a big syringe and I lost feelings in my mouth. While the oral surgeon was sawing and I was listening nervously to my music, I was wondering if in the future I will feel anxious when I hear the same music again. In other words, can the removal of teeth act as an aversion therapy? So far, I haven't notice any change.
Even my "panic attack" during the procedure didn't result in aversion. During the complete procedure while I was on the seat, I had to keep my mouth open. Because of that, I was breathing through my mouth. After the first tooth has been removed, a lot of blood flowed through the wound and filled my mouth. I couldn't breath and instinctively I started to panic. The medical staff had to calm me down. After a horrifying moment and after I had focused on breathing through my nose, the procedure could continue again.

After the procedure, I had to show off my wisdom

The next day: After a painful and sleepless night, my cheek was swollen and my mood has reached a low point

What does it say? - German Train Station Edition

 Scroll down for the answers

ATM

Rise of the Industrial Machines

I was on the Hannover Messe the world's biggest industrial fair. There were a lot of boring things to see. All kind of cables, pipes, screws, more cable, small electronic devices, huge electrical transformers, and more cables. But there were also interesting things to see: Robots. There were industrial robots in different sizes.  There was a robot that was filling bottles to empty them a moment later, a robot that was placing big boxes on the assembly line and then take them down again - yes, fair robots perform sisyphus tasks. I saw two robot arms playing with a football, robot arms dancing with music and disco lights, a giant robot arm lifting a car body and swinging it around, and a humongous robot arm doing the same with two people to replace a funfair ride. We played foosball against a robot and finished with a tie by scoring a late goal.
When I entered an exhibition hall with a number of robots I thought: "Wow. how cool is that". I fool. In a few years these robot arms will learn to assemble legs for themselves and then they will rise against us. Everyone in the exhibition hall will be doomed. What am I saying - they will have legs. You will be save only on a one way trip to Mars. Everyone else will be doomed. DOOMED I say!

Our soon to be overlords